It takes a whole village to raise a child they say…Its no wonder there aren’t many well brought up Children in our generation, and there will be even less in the generation we raise. Urbanisation has come to stay, so must leave our village mentality so that we may fit into modern life. Sadly many aren’t filtering we’re leaving the bad along with the good.
It takes an entire village to raise a child they say, a little bit of this and that from the entire community. Sadly we have an anorexic sense of community, that’s why there are young people prancing up and down showing their malnourished values. You can see it in our dressing, our choice of words, where we spend our time and money.
We murder our culture, as it dies we choose to live by the globalised culture we have adopted, our parents generations hold the funerals ,give eulogies as they lecture us about how they were better than us in their time. While the elderly hold memorials frequently of times when culture was who we were. All pointing fingers as their diminishing eyesight or maybe even their pedestals prevent them from seeing the 4 fingers pointing back at them.
It takes a whole village to raise a child, must that rule change because our dwellings are no longer mud huts, but crisp houses enclosed in our towering fences? Even those that dwell in high density areas have fast abandoned their traditional values and become ‘vamu town’. The global village imparting knowledge into our generation through various forms of media. Now you complain because the media is doing your job for you? Worse still discarding the age old ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’ in Oprah’s advice ‘don’t beat your kids’. Discipline is not child abuse. Not disciplining your child when they are young enough to learn will only leave it to the world to do in a much harsher way. How is that not abuse?
Out with the old and in with the new, have you ever heard if it’s not broken don’t fix it? Don’t get me wrong, there are many aspects of African culture that I think are primitive and should be put into life’s recycle bin. The only place they should still exist is as relics on the shelves of museums and libraries. Sadly we are tossing out the baby with the bath water. Uprooting ourselves and still expecting to stand firm.
It takes a whole village to raise a child, they say. Sadly our generation has more members of the village talking about us than there are actually talking to us. Many of the older generation, form clusters as they ridicule and point at how poorly brought up a child is while the criticise the child and their parent/s. What is more foolish than a poorly brought up child and its parent/s is the people that notice the errors yet do NOTHING but ridicule and criticise without folding up their sleeves and taking and trying to help where they can.
It takes a whole village to raise a child, but when you look at the attendance register of our upbringing so many marked absent. Not enough ticked present to instil substance into the young. Some may say, they have tried talking to ‘the youth’ and have failed. True the problem with us the youth is we have developed an air of self-importance. The little knowledge we know and the different perspective we have that our parents’ generation don’t has tricked us into thinking we have more knowledge than they do in total. That is our undoing. On the other hand however, the older generation do not want to think up creative ways of parenting when the parenting style that was used on them fails with this generation. This generation is better informed and scare tactics like ‘If you let boy’s touch your breast one will become deformed’ won’t work because even if we for a split second believed it we would google, find out you’re lying and probably find a study on how letting touch our breasts is actually beneficial, or it helps prevent breast cancer or something. The older generation can sometimes be too lazy to have ‘logical arguments’ with us the youth on the pros and cons and most importantly why the right path is better than the shiny image the media is selling us.
If the older generation were all working together as a village they would delegate different responsibilities to each other based on their strengths. They would also get bunches of us together as the youth, helping us form more meaningful relationships with them and each other. How is that for #SquadGoals? Sometimes it’s the biological parent’s fault; they don’t reach out to the other members of the village for help. But then again why would they if they will be met with snide remarks or gossip instead of helping hands?
It takes an entire village to raise a child, many days are and lessons are poured into what the child ultimately becomes. When there are celebrations of the child’s achievements and landmarks. Many who did not sow and till still want to be fed. Very few take up the dirty task of cleaning up the excretion that comes from all the nonsense the young generation is filled with on a daily basis or beating out the foolishness the hearts the young contain as per the biblical proverbs say. Yet many want or expect cards to the kitchen parties and the weddings. Or expect to be part of the recipients of the ‘first salary’. Very few will turn down the opportunity to reap where they did not sow. When the consequences of poor upbringing explode into drama, they scamper for a front row seat as they raise their hands in the Zambian hi 5 ‘chikatemo’ and exclaim how they knew this would happen. Oh how they relish being prophets of doom. Like there is an award for it.
It takes an entire village to raise a child. The child is always a product of the teaching and instruction they received or lack thereof.