I am deeply irked by toxic masculinity and misogyny these are real issues that are heightened and in some instances created by a patriarchal society. As women’s Month begins it would be nice for us to do some introspection on the many real ways in which toxic femininity really does exist in our society.
I heard of a story where a Zambian woman and her friends assaulted a woman who was alleged to be committing adultery with the woman’s husband. Part of this abuse included the forceful insertion of a beer bottle into the vagina of this woman who was said to be the side chick. I haven’t seen the video yet,and honestly I don’t want to. This however fills me with an array of emotions, rage,sadness, compassion, empathy and dismay…it is mind boggling and makes me quite dizzy. I could go into some deep social analysis of the root of this issue, how women are raised to view each other as opponents rather than allies, how shipikisha club does not allow for women to express or the emotions that come with infidelity in a healthy way, how the African man has absolute power and is thus corrupted absolutely, how a huge part of our culture is designed to oppress women and whole list of other things.
I however want to focus on how in 2019 we women are trash to each other! We see it on social media in the nasty comments where women break one another down, when women withhold due compliments and praise but quickly dish out slander and nasty comments. We see it when we join the men in tearing down and degrading women of questionable character or women who have the same levels of promiscuity as men. We see it when women fight one another for men who had no honour for either one. Men are trash, it goes without saying and with no argument there. However could we for just a second interrogate some other reasons we contribute to why Men are Trash? Men are trash because we have taught them by how we treat one another as women,we implicitly say that it’s ok to treat a certain women or in fact all women like trash.
We also forget that a lot of these men who are trash are raised and influenced by females in their homes.
We have a pretty prominent female presidential candidate who other women won’t vote for not because her plans are policies are bad, not because she does not have the intelligence or the passion not even because she does not have a proven track record but because it’s alleged that she stole another woman’s husband. Whether she did is another thing. How many of our male presidents had their first wife as first Lady? No one thinks of that. It’s funny how women all stand in solidarity against the other woman, while give the man a pass like he had no hand in the matter.
The truth is whether we want to admit to it or not there are also female misogynists among us and toxic feminity is a a real thing. And these are issues we need to begin to deal with.
One cardinal thing to note is that when a woman pulls down another woman, degrades her or bullies her online, when she won’t give her political support, when she dislikes another woman because she is confident and assertive it is not an act of her exerting superiority over the other woman it reflects internal battles and insecurity. Women are trash too!
We need to treat one another better than we do at present and unite towards the commonalities that united us.
Happy women’s month.