26 Things I learned at 26

I’m in the dying days of Chapter 26 and I’m looking back on where it started. It has been turbulent to say the least but it has also been very rewarding and very fulfilling. I’ve grown, I lost, I’ve lived, I’ve healed but I’ve also broken in places I’m now trying to heal from. I’ve gotten to know myself a whole lot better. It’s been…. Well what we typically call Life.

In summation of this new chapter and while I prepare adequately for the new one, here is a list of things I’ve learned.

  1. How to really love myself and give me the type of love I want and I need.
  2. How to make Chikanda.
  3. How to cook Kalembula
  4. That you do not own the person you love and sometimes we place uncommunincated expectations.
  5. How to be healthier and to manage my weight.
  6. That I may not like avocado but my skin and my hair really do.
  7. That even the people who hold most dear won’t clap for you when you win when things aren’t going as well for them and they may even secretly wish you ill. But that’s ok.
  8. What politics really is and how it is done here in Zambia.
  9. I learned about the beauty in letting things die and using the dead things as compost to enrich the new life growing.
  10. I learned how to make macaroons (almost perfectly)
  11. Journaling is a need for me.
  12. I learned that in addition to being. Sapiosexual. Men who have good character, Godly traits and are really level headed are irresistibly attractive to me.
  13. To make room in my life for the things I want or desire.
  14. I learned to come to the table with my strengths and the areas and excell in. To lay them down with pride in myself. To know that me taking pride in myself and abilities will be offensive to many. But as long as it is a good healthy pride coming from a place of confidence and security rather than arrogance and insecurity. I will be just fine.
  15. That when people have power they will do things ‘because they can’ (paraphrased from Naomi Alderman)
  16. This one is a little eyebrow raising ……. I learned how to draw my eyebrows  LOL
  17. How to manage my weight by first of all managing my thoughts and mental state of mind.
  18. To actively start pursuing and exploring my passions.
  19. To look in the closet for the skeletons of people that are constantly accusing you know in your hearts of hearts you are innocent.
  20. I am the Analyst personality type.
  21. When there is disession and chaos it is essential to turn your focus on the one who stands to benefit the most from existence and if my goal is to end it that is my starting point.
  22. How therapeutic and essential dancing is in my life.
  23. To fight the real enemy of my life(The devil) more than I fight anything else.
  24. How in almost anything you do… You need a plan on how you will manage the male ego if it is present.
  25. How to look out for toxic femininity in myself and in others and how to manage it.
  26. To never again doubt my intuition.


Chapter 26 has been quite the journey. I am officially toasting to it and eagerly awaiting the next chapter.

3 thoughts on “26 Things I learned at 26

  1. Taza mulenga says:

    Beautiful,honest and encouraging. I love the fact that you are committed to being the best you only you can be, which a lot of people are scared to do out of fear of not pleasing or ‘getting likes’ by the world. You are truly set for greatness .


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