A Moment of Silence

I have always failed to come to terms with death and loss, how someone who was a part of you can just be put in life’s recycle bin never to be encounterd in live form ever again.

There’s something about being quiet and still which enables you to notice things that missed your attention before.

We often drown our real thoughts and feelings because we’re afraid, afraid of facing the truth, afraid of facing the pain.
Today I’ve decided to take a moment of silence (and I hope you can find the time to take one with me) to just take stock of the loss.
It’s easy to go through life focusing on the tasks we deem as important, the things that will distract us, the things that will act as a salve for the pain.
This is just to remind you that your pain, your emotions your disarray related to your loss are important too, and you must take time to just grieve and grieve deeply at that. That’s OK too, it doesn’t make you weak. Your emotional well-being is just as important, and for as long as you’re not throwing a pity party do not allow anyone to tell you to suck it up without dealing with it and accepting the existence of your pain.
Find a healthy outlet for it, a journal, a creative project, anything that will help you feel better. I like to ‘write the wrongs’ away.

As I think and grieve about my loss today, here is an illustration that I found comforting last year. The irony is that there is life in dead things. The same way that you can make compost heap from dead plants and leaves and use them to enhance the growth of living growing plants is the same manner in which we must handle our losses. Loss has a funny way of propelling us, and we get to decide whether it is self destructive or it’s for your good, the good of others and the good of the legacy of the one/ones you have lost.

 

 

BELONG

We all have a longing to be, be more than what we already are. To multiply the yield of our efforts. We all have the longing to belong, to something great, to be a prized possession of somebody.

We’ve all had the longing to be complete, to shed off our imperfections or feel more comfortable about the sections of ourselves we could never change with our hands.

We have all had the longing for more content to be filled into our glass so that we wouldn’t have to see it as half empty or half full. All the room would be occupied and it would just be full.

Now stepping into the realm of ‘what I will become when I grow up’, now that the time is here I’m opening my eyes to the fact that all I need to become, In order for me to be, is to be me.

I came preinstalled with all I need to fulfil my destiny, to fill the glass from half empty to completely full all that need be is for me download the plugins. By plugging into him, thee, the one that created me. Ironically he opens my eyes to how I was already a glass half full for my purpose. The half empty came from a mirage, the vantage point by his side made me see this. I’m where I belong, now I can be, become, what I already was. That which I always wanted to be.

Now I belong, this is what I spent time longing to be, a prized possession. I was longing to be what I already was. Funny how my sense of belonging came when I deposited all my belongings in his hands for him to keep. All the control that belongs to me I gave to him. When I had the courage to ‘Gwesa’ the clutter I held onto like they were my belongings, he never intended for me to carry around with me that longing and self-worth deficit from all the things I longed to be and thought I could never become.

I know what is like to be. I know what it is like to be free. To be a part of something greater than me. I know what it is like to belong.

I laugh at the days to come for I know he will never with hold a good thing from me. So trust me, I will never with hold my services from thee. I was born to be. I was born to be me. I was born to become but even more importantly born to belong. Belong to the king, as one of his most prized possessions. A tool for him to do his intentions. The imperfections in me that will never be perfect t the world’s standards are just what I need to perform my purpose. Just another platform to showcase my creator’s perfection.

I used to feel like a fish out of water, that was before I became me. Like a fish trying to climb a tree, because I wasn’t at good at it as the monkey didn’t mean I’m not a masterpiece. See my master makes artisan products, I’m one of a kind. my awesome comes from what was already ingrained into me at the point of my creation. I was created a masterpiece, a piece for my master to use as he willed.

I’m successful at being me.